5 Quirks: Canada
by Spazzcat-Katori
Summary: 5 drabblets about five quirks Canada has: Calendars, puppets, packing tape, fire-starter sticks, and carpets.


Author's Notes: Five drabblets about Canada. Each one is a quirk he has concerning a different everyday object. I'd love to see this being done by other authors about other characters, so go ahead and use the idea!

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Quirk 1: Carousel Horse Calendars

Ever since they were first made, Matthew has had a wall calendar with pictures of carousel horses. He loves to admire the careful details the sculptors slaved over for hours, and the intricate harnesses that are different for every single horse. They also make him think of freedom and joy and serve as a reminder to stop and have fun once in a while.

Every year for his birthday and Christmas, Matthew gets at least six calendars from his friend and family. They're usually hockey or polar bear themed, because he's Canada after all, and that's his thing (He still can't figure out where they found /eight/ polar bear calendars, no two photos alike and all for the same year). Matthew just smiles and thanks them for the gifts, then donates them all to the local school and hangs up his carousel horse calendar. He'll admire it for a while, and wish that the new year started in summer so he could go ride one of the prancing, snorting stallions to celebrate.

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Quirk 2: Puppets

For as long as he can remember, Matthew has been absolutely terrified of puppets. He's not sure if it's a phobia or because of some forgotten childhood trauma, but he does know it first came to light when England took him and America to a Punch-And-Judy show as young colonies. According to England, "Matthew took one look at the puppets, screamed like a banshee being murdered, and took off running at such a speed he was halfway to Delaware before I caught up to him." Ever since, Matthew has periodically endured his brother chasing him with puppets to see how loud he'll scream ("I only did that when we were kids!" Alfred insists. "You did that last Christmas." Is the Canadian's reply.). Luckily, it's not a fear likely to cause problems in his everyday life. Even if he did embarrass himself by freaking out at birthday parties for a couple of his bosses' daughters.

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Quirk 3: Packing Tape

In Matthew's opinion, the most entertaining everyday object there is (next to bubblewrap, that is) is a roll of packing tape. Put one in his hands and he'll spend the whole day tossing and catching it, putting all sorts of tricky spins on it, or doing fancy throws from behind his back or under his legs. Give him more than one roll and he'll /really/ start showing off. He often does this at work, and the other people at Parliament usually describe it as "a little strange, kinda funny, and a bit badass" when they see him walking down the hallway, talking to someone, carrying a stack of files under one arm, and all while tossing and catching a roll of tape with his free hand (unless the person he's talking to is new and keeps tripping over their sentences because they're watching the tape go up and down and up and down, in which case it's simply "hilarious."). Occasionally, someone suggests he should enter a talent competition, but Matthew just smiles and keeps having fun.

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Quirk 4: Fire-starter sticks

Matthew isn't afraid to admit that if he wasn't on a first name basis with the heads of his government's various security agencies, he'd be on all their watch lists for the sheer quantity of fire-starting sticks he buys at camping stores. Especially since he rarely buys any other camping supplies. But it's not like he's actually setting anything on fire with them or anything, just...terrorizing his brother a little. Because let's face it, watching Alfred having conniptions at finding a couple of fire sticks and a lighter on his desk and proceeding to scour every. Single. Inch. Of the White House for hours until he's sure he's found them all is /hilarious./ And whenever the American gets too loud and unbearable, it never fails to make him shut up for a while. Even if Matthew's bosses do get annoyed with him after for hurting tourism because his paranoid brother has increased border security again.

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Quirk 5: Carpets

If someone asked Matthew what his favourite piece of furniture in his house was, he would promptly say "the carpets" and then ignore anyone who tried to tell him carpets don't count as furniture. "Have you ever tried laying on a sunny patch of carpet?" he insists. "Better than any blanket-covered bed." In fact, on a bright weekend afternoon, that's often where you'll find him: sprawled in the sun next to Kumajirou (who will be looking at him in annoyance for taking up all the sun).

He also likes carpets because in winter, they are /great/ for annoying people. When his family comes to visit around Christmas or New Years, there is always a day when he lets the holiday candy get the better of him and starts shuffling across the carpets in his socks, sneaking up on people to shock them with static before rapidly shuffling away amidst gales of laughter. He's devilishly good at avoiding being shocked back, too, much to the annoyance of France, whose hair is horribly frizzy by the end of the day.

Most of all, though, he loves carpets just because of what they are. He can sprawl out on them however he pleases, and they're soft and comfy and sometimes warm. They're in front of TVs, and fireplaces, and bookshelves. Sometimes Matthew wonders why people even bother with beds when there's carpet to be had.


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